Day 28 - What I'm Afraid Of

I'm a little bit ashamed of having started writing daily about my struggle against porn after 25 days of victory. It feels like I'm not willing to tell the story until I know it has a chance of a good ending, or that I'm only game for transparency if I'm on a winning streak.

25 days was my old record, and now each day is a brand new kind of win. My goal for the last 5 months or so has been to make it a month, which I've never done before. But I'm honestly afraid that after that month is done, my motivation is going to start getting weaker since I finally made it to that goal.

But I have to keep asking myself, what has been my sustainer to this point. Was it the goal of 30 days, or is the goal of freedom, purity, transparency, obedience, etc. I think freedom from addiction, closeness with God, transparency with Caroline, and being a resource for freedom for other men has been the stronger motivation - which shouldn't weaken after just a month.

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