Day 35 - I Am Not a Rubber Band
I keep battling the thought that this is too easy. That there's no way I can actually be free right now - I'm just wandering outside my normal area, but eventually, I'll return to what I know. I'm fighting the thought that I'm a rubber band being stretched out more and more, but sooner or later, I'll get tired and relax and go back to my comfortable position.
If I accept that lie - that picture - then I think I would eventually return.
But I am not a rubber band. I am a prisoner who is walking away from captivity. Satan is just yelling after me to come back because it was better there and more comfortable there. He keeps saying "Well, you've had your little taste of freedom, but now it's time to come back to where you really belong."
Nothing in me compels me to return, as long as I keep believing the truth that where I am walking is life, freedom, abundance, goodness, community, light, health, and transparency.
The only thing that would compel me to return to that is if I believe lies about God and think that death is better than life, that bondage is better than freedom, that starvation is better than abundance, that evil is better than goodness, that isolation is better than community, that darkness is better than light, that sickness is better than health, or that guilt is better than transparency.
Satan is quite the liar to get us to believe that shit, and I am quite a chump to believe it.
He wants me to believe that when I was in addiction, it was me choosing freedom, but that when I am free from addiction it's unnatural. He wants me to believe that when I was in addiction, freedom was too impossible to attain, but now that I have freedom, it was too easy to get.
I am not a rubber band. I am the prodigal son returning home. Returning to a father who saw me from a long way off and has run to meet me, and throws a party because his son who was dead has come home. This is where I belong. This is where I am at rest and at peace. I have tasted every manner of pleasure the world offers and can testify that it is not good enough.
So I'm changing what I want. I don't want porn anymore because it doesn't satisfy me. The more I consume the emptier I get. It is not where I belong, it is not who I am, it is not where I must return, it is not better than where I am.
If I accept that lie - that picture - then I think I would eventually return.
But I am not a rubber band. I am a prisoner who is walking away from captivity. Satan is just yelling after me to come back because it was better there and more comfortable there. He keeps saying "Well, you've had your little taste of freedom, but now it's time to come back to where you really belong."
Nothing in me compels me to return, as long as I keep believing the truth that where I am walking is life, freedom, abundance, goodness, community, light, health, and transparency.
The only thing that would compel me to return to that is if I believe lies about God and think that death is better than life, that bondage is better than freedom, that starvation is better than abundance, that evil is better than goodness, that isolation is better than community, that darkness is better than light, that sickness is better than health, or that guilt is better than transparency.
Satan is quite the liar to get us to believe that shit, and I am quite a chump to believe it.
He wants me to believe that when I was in addiction, it was me choosing freedom, but that when I am free from addiction it's unnatural. He wants me to believe that when I was in addiction, freedom was too impossible to attain, but now that I have freedom, it was too easy to get.
I am not a rubber band. I am the prodigal son returning home. Returning to a father who saw me from a long way off and has run to meet me, and throws a party because his son who was dead has come home. This is where I belong. This is where I am at rest and at peace. I have tasted every manner of pleasure the world offers and can testify that it is not good enough.
So I'm changing what I want. I don't want porn anymore because it doesn't satisfy me. The more I consume the emptier I get. It is not where I belong, it is not who I am, it is not where I must return, it is not better than where I am.
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